England versus Italia

Dedicated to Paolo Rossi who died this week As Geoff Hurst plays a blinder against GermanyThe home fans rub their eyes in disbelief.Italians take their hats off to Paolo RossiAs scoring a hat-trick, he brings Brazil a bit of quarter-final grief. In a World Cup of national stereotypesOnly lager louts and greaseballs qualify;Gazza gets into …

extract from ‘Conix – a story for grown up children’

Tall TalesWhen Amy Winehouse died, Conix was distraught with grief. ‘I was with her a few days ago, and she seemed fine.’ This was typical of him. Making out he’d been anywhere of importance when news broke. When questioned about how he could have possibly been with her, he looked up from his tears in …

Zippy Chorgle’s End

All olly-topped, the zippy freebedWith ogles in its chackAnd then it tuttered by the worgAnd orped beneath the clap. Now, unbescotting to our ploffA camanoogle hocks.It’s piffing round the floofy jicksAnd blonking round the sox. And oh alas! It poops the zipAnd timpers like a mooshAs meanwhile unbejugging pocksThe zip beneath the woosh. The camanoogle …

From Liqueur to Lace

Had worn her heart on a sleeve.Had hid it when she’d had to grieve.She’d cried for much less sincefor every unworthy prince. A moat of tears had flooded her moat.Her draw-bridge had buckled under the messages she’d wrote.One winter morn, the snow had settled, and laywhere she would a following summer’s day. America loomed large, …