On Pleasure Pielandislanders live life under a system called pie-in-the-sky.Plumbers fit pipe dreamsand statistics on counting your blessings are always high. Opticians sell rose-tinted glassesto see good things over the horizonand in every house, doors are fittedso that when one closes, another one opens. Every silver cloud has a golden liningand everyone’s glass is always …
Author Archives: aprettykettleofpoetry
and here’s the graph
you’ve got bills to payand you won’t be able toup to your giraffe in itsomeone’s having a laughand here’s the graph you can’t feed your kidsthey’ll go withoutback to scrooge’s surplus pop by halfsomeone’s having a laughand here’s the graph you’re strugglingto make ends meetthe rope for your graftsomeone’s having a laughand here’s the graph …
PsychedeliKat
When I use my headto stick under the sandit’s a goody that beats evilwith comic heroes getting out of hand. miaow miaow miaowwow wow wowis a chorus to forgetbut one you’ll remember I bet. I got a low boredom thresholdbut I can’t be bothered to work out whatever that means.A tongue I can’t holdand a …
Alien Visit
This place is outer spacewhere aliens arriveand they love slumming itin this exotic dive. Where they come from is pure,unspoilt, and as it’s always been.They beam images back homeand pose in concrete and green. They’re too clever for anyone hereand do their touristy invisible thingcos where they come from is pure,unspoilt, and as it’s always …
Papal Bull
If someone had stoppedPope Gregory IX persecuting catsthe plague may never have happenedwith all those rampaging ‘cat’s away, mice will play’ flea-infested rats. Now, that’s my kind of cat-propaganda Netflix doc fact!But later, shooting my mouth off about it on a beach sunbed,the sunbathing papist friend next to me shoots backand googles what I’ve just …
Nostalgiarama
Join me down the waterfront at The Prospect.Millions of memories going introspect.Well maybe not millions but quite a few.We’ll have a couple of pints or the proverbial one or two. The world spins round at such a pacewith its starter pistol at the start of its rat racethat before you know it, your day is …
Vaudeville Music Hall Seaside Town Murder
Are you still therewalking the pier’s wooden boards?Sat in your deck chairwith your wonderful theatrical frauds? Anyone’s word counts for the number of letters in it.Scripts thrown into the sea.Armbands round little arms doing their bitto keep a silent movie pianist afloat above anonymity. The sawdust footprintsmatch those left in the sand.Under a punch ‘n’ …
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Yeah
Send away for a bullet proof gloveto catch every bullet, yeah.Turn every head, yeahand fall in love, yeah. Somersault underwaterand walk in a straight line, yeah.Turn back the clock, yeahand wind it forward to skip bad times, yeah. Subscribe to a new club.Blush and get a buzz, yeah.Get discovered and make loads of money, yeah.Disappear …
On the Top Deck of a Local Double-Decker Bus
For about every day, every week, every morninghe hoped she would be there at the bus stop, yawning.Sometimes she was and sometimes was notwhile winter joggers just limbo jogged on the spot. Roundabout a high-profile Royal Wedding proposal,as to press they rushed,there he was, all alone, when up the stairs she came.Golden chance! She smiled …
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About Time
All-seeing blind men and womendon’t need eyes to see.Visionaries have a braille-finger crystal ball-point penand contact lenses for free. Love is so simple if you don’t look too far.Everyone looks to the sky to spot that sugar-coated starbut in this chocolate-flaky galaxyyou can melt a heart by just singing to a first-floor balcony. Please hold …
A Pretty Kettle of Poetry 